10 (controversially) Outdated wedding traditions

Take a look at the wedding ideas on Instagram and Pinterest, and you’ll discover plenty of creative ideas for your big day.
It’s good fun to pick and mix ideas and add to the dream wedding you have in your head. It’s also important to be unique – the last thing you want is for your wedding to be one big cliché.
The best way to achieve that? By avoiding outdated wedding traditions.
FYI.
I’m don’t necessarily agree with any of these. I actually included pretty much all of them in my own wedding – Not the cake smash, I couldn’t bear the mess), but sometimes it’s fun to be controversial.
Here’s 10 of them - feel free to make up your own mind!

1. Bouquet toss

The bouquet toss has been romanticised by Hollywood for years.
It goes back to medieval times when people seemed to think it was lucky to take home a piece of the brides dress?!?
The tradition sees the bride fling a bouquet into a crowd of single ladies. The one who catches the bouquet will be the next to get married (or so the superstition goes).

Why it’s old fashioned

Your beautiful flowers probably cost an arm and a leg and deserve to be preserved, not thrown. Most women wear high heels to weddings so jumping around isn’t ideal. Your single friends might not want you making a huge deal about their single status. Also, tossing the bouquet doesn’t work with smaller gatherings.

2. Garter toss

If the bouquet is for the ladies, the garter is for the men.
Again, medieval men tossed the garter (a band worn around the bride’s leg) to let the wedding guests all know that he was about to. Erm. Consummate the marriage. Lovely!
These days, garter is usually thrown by the groom after the bouquet (thank goodness – not so not quite so icky). The superstition goes that the man who catches the garter will be the next to get married.

Why it’s old fashioned

Women don’t usually wear garters anymore. If they so, they probably want to keep it. Also, most men haven’t even heard of the garter toss. They won’t know what it means. And - it’s a bit embarrassing in front of your parents.


3. Receiving a diamond ring

Diamond rings are a symbol of marriage, aren’t they? Well, that’s what jewellers want you to believe. The reality is you can have any ring or band you like. Prefer a birth stone? That’s absolutely fine. A plain band? Go for it!

Why it’s old fashioned

Diamond engagement rings have actually only been a thing since the 1930’s.
Diamonds were discovered en masse in South African mines owned by the De Beers company in the late 1800’s. De Beers launched huge advertising campaigns across America, convincing the public that diamonds were incredibly rare, valuable and the ultimate symbol of love.
The advertisements even went as far as to say that the size, clarity and price of the stone bought were directly linked with a gentleman’s wealth and how much he loved his wife to be.
Today, these two marketing concepts still hold true, but in reality, the stone in the ring really doesn’t matter. Just choose something you like.


4. Not seeing each other before the ceremony

It has long been a tradition that the bride and groom will not see each other on the night or day before the wedding ceremony. This tradition goes back hundreds of years to when marriages were all generally still arranged and families were slightly nervous that the young man might run away if he discovered his bride was ugly. Amazingly, it’s still common today. I’m guessing because most people don’t know why they’re doing it.

Why it’s old fashioned
Seriously? The reasons behind this one are just slightly horrifying, plus many modern couples like to have a pre-wedding photo shoot and like to rehearse the ceremony right before it happens.


5. Your father walking you down the aisle

Traditionally, the bride’s father walks his daughter down the aisle and gives her away to the awaiting groom. You’ve likely seen this countless times in movies. It’s a sweet tradition that’s been around for generations.
Except it’s not really what it seems. Again, in the days of arranged marriages, it simply signified a father giving his daughter (his property) away to her new owner. Aw, sweet.

Why it’s old fashioned

It’s an extremely antiquated notion that your someone’s property to give away. If you’d like your father to walk you down the isle because you like the idea that’s fine. If you’d rather have your father seated, that’s absolutely fine also.


6. Wearing a white wedding dress

This one originated in Britain not so long ago. Troughout modern history, the bride has traditionally worn a white wedding dress (except in Eastern cultures, where brides often choose red).
It was first introduced by Queen Victoria in the 1800’s when she married her one great love Prince Albert and wore a beautiful white, silk, satin and lace creation.
Ever since then, white has been seen as a the perfect colour for a wedding dress. A pure colour, which tallies nicely with the wedding theme.

Why it’s old fashioned
You can wear whatever you want! Wear a Mrs. Blobby costume if you like - just make sure what you wear fits your wedding theme.


7. Smashing the cake

This is a silly wedding ritual that seems to have been around for thousands of years. We’re not completely sure where it stems from, but it seems to have something to do with an old Roman practice that saw the groom crumbling up a piece of bread or cake over his brides head so that the wedding guests could scoop up the lucky crumbs.
These days, you basically grab a slice of cake and thrust it into the face of your new husband or wife. It makes for a messy photo opportunity.

Why it’s old fashioned

It serves no purpose whatsoever other than messing up the brides beautiful makeup and possibly her hair or dress!?! Plus, there’ll be less cake to eat! Why spoil something so tasty and expensive by smashing it?


8. Matching suits and bridesmaid dresses

Wedding themes exist to keep things unison. The thought is they create better photo opportunities and ensure no one stands out but the bride and groom. This tradition’s shared by most cultures and most religions.

Why it’s old fashioned

People come in all shapes and sizes. One thing won’t suit another. I’ve been a bridesmaid on a couple of occasions and on one, I was dressed in an identical dress to a 3 year old. I was nearly 15.
Let people wear what they want. You can keep a theme by asking people to wear the same colour, or a version of.
If you REALLY want matching bridesmaids, maybe go out and choose the dresses together so you can reach an agreeable compromise.


9. Buying the best man’s suit

Again, we’re not sure where this tradition stems from.
It always was traditionally the responsibility of the groom or his family to buy his best man’s suit.
The same goes for bridesmaid dresses. This used to be down to the bride.

These days, many people simply hire all the suits and dresses for their wedding as one job lot which nicely solves the conundrum of who pays.
Whilst many people wouldn’t dream of making someone buy a suit or dress for their special day, many others are of the opinion that weddings are expensive enough as it is without providing free clothing.

Why it’s old fashioned

The best man is a grown adult. It’s up to him buy his own suit. The same goes for adult bridesmaids. Maybe not if you’re asking for top hat and tails, but if it’s a suit they can wear again for interviews, work or other occasions, then why not?
Again with bridesmaids dresses. If you want them in matching lace with puff ball skirts, you might have to reconsider, but if you’re going for a nice, simple occasion dress, then why not?


10. Getting married in a church

Dreaming of a church wedding? Many of us do.
Of course marriage itself pre-dates Christianity, but ever since the 12th century, when the Catholic church decided that marriage was a holy matrimony sanctioned by God, the majority of weddings have been carried out within the walls of a church, or at least as part of a gathering of other Christian people.
But have churches have become outdated venues for modern weddings? (unless you’re Christian of course).

Why it’s old fashioned

These days, you’ll have to attend church for a few weeks before you marry to be granted permission. If you’re not Christian, really what’s the point?
If you want to have a civil ceremony, it’s now pretty common to get married in any beautiful venue you like, as long as the venue is officially licenced. Fields, woods and back gardens however are not officially licenced, so it’s still not possible to get married absolutely anywhere your heart desires.